Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Absent Husband

My husband is gone. Again. It has been incredibly hard for us. His work regularly takes him away from me for weeks at a time. In our first few months of marriage when all you want to do is constantly be around each other, we've had to learn to cope with the separation.

A nurse friend of mine recently told me that it was all that her and her husband could manage as newlyweds when they had to be apart for a single night. ...whenever she had to work a twelve hour night shift.

I think for the most part we have dealt with these long periods of separation. However, for myself, I still am having difficulties upon his return. "What???" You ask, "How does that make sense?"

Well, after my dear husband has been away for several weeks, he arrives home raring to go. Immediately, as soon as we walk in the front door, he wants to head into the bedroom.

I suppose I should be counting my blessings that I have a husband who wants me so very much. But my difficulty lies in this: I feel used...that I am just a pit-stop for a sexual fuel up before he goes out on the road again. I understand that for men sex is one of the ways in which they connect with their wives emotionally. But for me, my emotions are not quite there. I operate on a slower track. I need time to get used to my husband when he returns before we head off to the bedroom.

We've discussed this issue with each other. I've explained my feelings. For him leaving his job is not an option, and so we have not yet been able to come up with a solution. Any thoughts? In the meantime whenever we have intercourse upon his return I feel like crying.

Dying with Drama

She was a tiny slip of a woman in her seventies. At four foot something she weighed just about 80 lbs. A heavy smoker for most of her life she spent her days attached to the oxygen machine. She fell from her bed during my shift fracturing her hip. Surgery was not recommended. The decision was made to change her level of intervention. No heroic measures were to be taken.

The ensuing weeks were painful. I found them to be incredibly frustrating. The nurses refused to stay on top of her pain management. There was no regular dosing of pain meds. They would wait until she was nearly frantic and inconsolable before administering anything. Then finally giving just an ativan.

I was working nights at the time. At the start of each shift I would immediately have to give pain meds so that she would be able to sleep. Still able to communicate, we would often have brief conversations before I would tuck her in for the night.

Then came the fateful night. I could immediately tell that she was in decline though she was still responsive. A check of the vitals confirmed my fears.  P 140, BP 175/114, oxygen saturation of 64%, resps 38. This was the occurrence of another underlying cause. It was not the slipping away that was expected for the end of her life.

A call to the Dr. was quickly made. Send her immediately to the hospital. Though the hospital was just a short hallway away, we were an attached facility, it was required that we still call an ambulance. The paramedics showed up a short 10 minutes later. In this time, she had changed. No longer responsive, her pupils huge, and agonal respirations. The decision was made not to transport her. Quickly, quickly, the family was informed. Her daughter came in tears. Minutes later her spirit left her body. I gave the family time before knocking gently. The daughter, in denial, kept asking "Are you sure she's gone?" "Yes" was my response accompanied with a hug.

She was gone, but she had made her departure memorable.


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Appreciate your Husband

Once again I put my fingers to the keyboard. How long will this resurrection last? Ah, that is completely unknown. Who knows when my interest and enthusiasm will wane. The only reason for this comeback is that I am avoiding some other task which I detest. This is my outlet of procrastination.

I initially thought I could memorize some Bible passage to distract me. Song of Solomon was my choice. As a newlywed I thought it might provide me with some direction and inspiration. In this modern day it is expected that the men shower their women with compliments. However, in the Song, the Shulamite offers up very clear appreciation for her husband's body. See chapter 5: 10-16.   My beloved is white and ruddy, Chief among ten thousand....His body is carved ivory...His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved...

Ladies remember to voice desire for your husband. Too often we forget to share our appreciation of him. Choose a physical feature or character trait that stands out to you and compliment him. Let him know that he is the number one man in your life and that you wouldn't have it any other way.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

What to Say?

I recently had a young woman come into my care. She was thirteen weeks pregnant. As part of my initial assessment I asked "Is this your first child?" She nodded in agreement and I continued on through the rest of my task.

For some reason this short exchange remained on my mind...perhaps because the previous day I had a patient who had just undergone a D & C. Was my question politically correct? Likely not. People have differing opinions as to life in the womb. Would it be better to ask, "Is this your first fetus?" Probably, if you want political correctness. But to my ears it simply sounds cold.

What do women want to hear? Does it depend on cirmcumstances? If the tissue in the womb is wanted or not?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Pain in hiding

Questioning an elderly demented female patient who had a recent fall....

"Do you have any pain?"

"Yes, I do."

"Can you describe to me where the pain is located?"

Following a short pause  "....it's around the corner."

Monday, January 16, 2012

Lazy charting

No I'm sorry. Using the word "gross" in your charting of a patient's wound is simply not acceptable. Even if it is a quote from another nurse. And especially not if it's a quote taken from casual conversation. Here is an idea....why don't you go look at the wound yourself. Then you can actually chart something worthwhile on it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Random thoughts

No, your demanding yells of "nurse, nurse" will not endear you to me. In fact, I will be more likely to avoid you altogether.

I conclude that people perceive age differently after being called a little girl by one of my patients. However, should I be flattered?

Yes doctor, if the patient is sedated to the point that they are not responsive to verbal stimuli during your visit, the risperidone dose should be reduced.

Things might be too busy....
I had an anxious man waiting out in the hallway. "Is it ok that I stand here, I'm not in your way am I?" he asked. "That's fine, you can stand or sit there for as long as you'd like" I reassured him. One of my other patients, an elderly female, piped up and said "or you can drop dead there."