Hoping for Pregnancy

We're still trying for our first bundle of joy.

As each month goes by the roller coaster of emotions becomes more and more familiar...the excitement over the potential, the agonizing waiting period, and the disappointing let down. Then the doubts and questions creep in. Is there something wrong? Are we somehow not compatible? Should we get tested? If adoption is something that we are open to, at what point should we begin the process? Should we use modern technology in helping us conceive?

We have no answers as of yet. I am trying not to become anxious over the matter. There are many stories of childless couples and many stories of happy families. Our story is still unfolding.

Reflections on Attitude

This past week was...an interesting first in our new marriage. My husband and I both went through periods of grumpiness/irritability and just having an overall bad attitude. Luckily our bouts of sourness did not coincide with each other. First I took my turn, then he, and I had to finish it out with another round.

Now, my husband is pretty wonderful as he rarely gets very cranky. Usually I am the one growling and glaring at the world. So it was an experience to be on the receiving end of someone's foul mood... most definitely not a pleasant time. In the context of marriage these issues need to be dealt with quite differently I'm finding. You can't exactly leave and just avoid the entire issue. It needs to be addressed to keep the tension from escalating. By the end of the week we had apologised and worked through the problems.

Reflecting on the entire affair has brought home to me again that one's attitude is a matter of choice. It is up to us to choose our demeanor and how we react to life's little irritating occurrences. For my poor husband's sake I shall endeavour to not immediately default to negative reaction.

Your Vagina is not a Storage Unit

Just a quick holler out to all you ladies. Please, please, be careful about what you put in your vagina. I have heard many horrors stories about women who basically use their cooch almost like a purse. Change, paper money wrapped in plastic, drugs, rings, and the like have been put up there for "safe-keeping." This is not what the orifice is intended for.

Items that I have come across in my career thus far are on a somewhat tamer level. For the most part I have seen women come in because they have forgotten to remove a tampon or part of it somehow was left behind. Several days have passed and they start to notice an itching or burning. A strange odour may start to emanate from them. Let me tell you, once we've gone into the dark cavern to fish the offending remnants out, the smell in the room is usually close to unbearable. So out of concern for your health and my nose, please be very cautious about putting things into your vagina.

Experimentation

I've found that it's so very easy to slip into a routine during our times of sexual intercourse. Too often we just resort back to the same old tried and true methods. Now I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with the missionary position. But every now and again a bit of variety should be thrown in....some spice to your sex life, because who doesn't eventually get tired of blandness.

Kiss, caress each other, have him get on top...and we're done. Try to get out of your comfort zone. I know for us ladies it might be harder. Personally I'm wary of attempting new positions for fear that they may cause pain. However, how will you know if you don't try.

I will be making a conscious effort over the next few months to try a new position every several weeks. Hopefully some of you ladies will join me in this venture. I'm sure there will be few complaints from our husbands.

Body Image

Remember ladies, your husband may be insecure about his body too. He might be self-conscious about that pudge that he is developing around his middle, his height or lack there of, bald spots, the size of his member, hair in unwanted locations, etc.

Try giving him a random compliment today and see how he reacts. Just the other day my husband swept me off of my feet...literally. He picked me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and headed for the bedroom. Surprised, I blurted out, "Honey you're so strong." Well that certainly gave him a boost. He seemed to be quite pleased by the compliment and started to preen and flex his muscles.

You may not be a fan of certain aspects of your spouse's body. However what good will it do to tear your partner's confidence to shreds? Build each other up. Appreciate the good, the things that you love. Finally, if there is a health issue that needs to be addressed, do so with all kindness. Don't criticise.

Absent Husband

My husband is gone. Again. It has been incredibly hard for us. His work regularly takes him away from me for weeks at a time. In our first few months of marriage when all you want to do is constantly be around each other, we've had to learn to cope with the separation.

A nurse friend of mine recently told me that it was all that her and her husband could manage as newlyweds when they had to be apart for a single night. ...whenever she had to work a twelve hour night shift.

I think for the most part we have dealt with these long periods of separation. However, for myself, I still am having difficulties upon his return. "What???" You ask, "How does that make sense?"

Well, after my dear husband has been away for several weeks, he arrives home raring to go. Immediately, as soon as we walk in the front door, he wants to head into the bedroom.

I suppose I should be counting my blessings that I have a husband who wants me so very much. But my difficulty lies in this: I feel used...that I am just a pit-stop for a sexual fuel up before he goes out on the road again. I understand that for men sex is one of the ways in which they connect with their wives emotionally. But for me, my emotions are not quite there. I operate on a slower track. I need time to get used to my husband when he returns before we head off to the bedroom.

We've discussed this issue with each other. I've explained my feelings. For him leaving his job is not an option, and so we have not yet been able to come up with a solution. Any thoughts? In the meantime whenever we have intercourse upon his return I feel like crying.

Dying with Drama

She was a tiny slip of a woman in her seventies. At four foot something she weighed just about 80 lbs. A heavy smoker for most of her life she spent her days attached to the oxygen machine. She fell from her bed during my shift fracturing her hip. Surgery was not recommended. The decision was made to change her level of intervention. No heroic measures were to be taken.

The ensuing weeks were painful. I found them to be incredibly frustrating. The nurses refused to stay on top of her pain management. There was no regular dosing of pain meds. They would wait until she was nearly frantic and inconsolable before administering anything. Then finally giving just an ativan.

I was working nights at the time. At the start of each shift I would immediately have to give pain meds so that she would be able to sleep. Still able to communicate, we would often have brief conversations before I would tuck her in for the night.

Then came the fateful night. I could immediately tell that she was in decline though she was still responsive. A check of the vitals confirmed my fears.  P 140, BP 175/114, oxygen saturation of 64%, resps 38. This was the occurrence of another underlying cause. It was not the slipping away that was expected for the end of her life.

A call to the Dr. was quickly made. Send her immediately to the hospital. Though the hospital was just a short hallway away, we were an attached facility, it was required that we still call an ambulance. The paramedics showed up a short 10 minutes later. In this time, she had changed. No longer responsive, her pupils huge, and agonal respirations. The decision was made not to transport her. Quickly, quickly, the family was informed. Her daughter came in tears. Minutes later her spirit left her body. I gave the family time before knocking gently. The daughter, in denial, kept asking "Are you sure she's gone?" "Yes" was my response accompanied with a hug.

She was gone, but she had made her departure memorable.