Your Vagina is not a Storage Unit

Just a quick holler out to all you ladies. Please, please, be careful about what you put in your vagina. I have heard many horrors stories about women who basically use their cooch almost like a purse. Change, paper money wrapped in plastic, drugs, rings, and the like have been put up there for "safe-keeping." This is not what the orifice is intended for.

Items that I have come across in my career thus far are on a somewhat tamer level. For the most part I have seen women come in because they have forgotten to remove a tampon or part of it somehow was left behind. Several days have passed and they start to notice an itching or burning. A strange odour may start to emanate from them. Let me tell you, once we've gone into the dark cavern to fish the offending remnants out, the smell in the room is usually close to unbearable. So out of concern for your health and my nose, please be very cautious about putting things into your vagina.